FOMO

When it comes to keeping up with the techno-slang, I fall way behind. These days when I log onto social media platforms I have to keep Google open on a separate tab so that I can search the meaning of these words that might as well be a foreign language to me. But ever since I came across the term FOMO and discovered what it actually stands for, it was as if someone had turned on a switch in my mind.

Since this is a term being thrown around so often these days, I gather FOMO is a very real occurrence in today’s society. I have no doubt that it’s a result of our exposure to other people’s lives through social media. It can be so easy to fall into the trap of questioning your life plans when you see someone else doing what you wish you could be doing in that very moment.

But I have realised, that the more I fixate on something that I could be doing, the more I am letting opportunities pass me by to do something in that moment. I am living in my mind instead of living. For example:

Last week I was feeling so blagh, I wanted to get out and do something fun. But I ended up wasting so much time moping that I let an entire day pass me by and I could get nothing done. At about 5:30 that evening the husband took me for a drive up Signal Hill, and even though it was a short outing, it did me the world of good to get out and see the beauty of this city I call home.

Sometimes we get swept away by the life we are trying to build for ourselves that we forget to live the life we want. I am sick of the FOMO!! I prefer to enjoy the spur of the moment drive up Signal Hill on a misty Sunday evening with my favourite person in the world; instead of dreaming about the end of year holidays. Yes I am excited for the holidays, but I don’t want to wait until then to have some adventure, I don’t want the days in between to go by uneventful. After all, Happiness is a journey not a destination.

Wake Me Up When September Ends…

As you’ve gathered, I am sure, by the title of this post; I am a huge fan of Greenday! Ever since I first heard American Idiot, its been my life long dream to play the drums (or wail an electric guitar) like a punk rock chick! But I digress. This post is not about a really cool band, but rather about the reasons behind why I’ve been so quiet the past few weeks.

I do apologise for being MIA, especially since my last post and how motivated I was to continue working on my blog. But life was so incredibly hectic that I just wanted someone to, well, wake me up when it ends!!

– My husband got called in for an interview halfway through the month and the next day when he left from said interview, he received a call from the company offering him the position. We were ecstatic, because after searching for about 3 months, and him burning to get back into the working world, we felt like it was the opportunity he’s been searching for.

– This however meant that we had to wake up at 5 every morning in order to leave the house by 6am so that he can drop me off at work by 6:30am for him to be at work on time (7:30am). The days were reeeeeally long so by the time 5pm rolled by, all I wanted was to get home and sleep! Yes we were mentally and physically drained by the end of each day, but we were both so grateful for the experience.

– The husband also graduated in the same week that he started working, so we had a wonderful celebration in honour of his achievement – Proud of you babe!!

– It was also Eid-al-Adha (Belated Eid Mubarak to all Muslim readers) which fell on Heritage Day here in South Africa, and it was amazing to spend the day with the family.

It was heart-breaking to hear about the tragedies which occurred in Mecca; and I do wish to take this opportunity to send my duaahs (prayers) to all the families and friends that were affected by those horrific events.

– The husband had a rather traumatic experience during his first week on the job. A man had an asthma attack on site, and he was the one to take him to the clinic. After doing everything they could, the man unfortunately passed away; and Taufeeq was there to witness this.

– The next week on his way to mosque, Taufeeq was involved in a car accident. He was hit from behind, and the car was left with a nasty dent and some scratches, but thankfully he came out of it unscathed.

– During the early hours of Monday morning we received a phone call that a really close member of the family had passed. It was so sudden and unexpected; a truly difficult time for the family. It meant a lot though that I could offer my support during such a trying time.

– To end off the month of September, Taufeeq received a call from a company who he had interviewed with about a month ago. After waiting so long we all figured that the application was unsuccessful, which is why he took the first job. But on Tuesday he was contacted and they informed him that his interview was a success! He went in on Wednesday to fill out the paper work, and Alghamdulillah we are so grateful for this break. After reminding him each day to sabr (be patient) and have faith that things will fall into place the way it should, it was exactly what we both needed.

We all experience times when we feel like nothing at all is going right. It is a reminder that as much as we plan and worry about life, we have absolutely no control over what happens. The beauty of it is that after facing the challenges and difficulties thrown in our path, we get to appreciate the good things that comes our way so much more. And now that we are in the month of October, a new month with fresh new possibilities; we learn to accept certain things that we have no power to change and move on. We learn to appreciate the good with the bad, and to make the most out of each day.

How has the past few weeks been treating you?

– Nihaad

Why you should not care what people think

Something that I am becoming increasingly aware of, is that most of us tend to care far too much about what other people think of us. It can be a good thing if it allows you to perform to the best of your abilities, but in most cases it has far more negative effects. This is my little list of why you should stop caring what other people think:

1) It will make you happy
As long as you worry about the opinions of others’, it will control the way you live your life. You will be miserable. You will constantly try to please everyone around you which is impossible to do! Focus on what you want, and what brings you joy – this way you know for sure that at least one person (and the most important person, in this case) is happy.

2) You will be less stressed
If you try to please everyone around you because you’re so concerned that they might think badly of you, it will stress you out to no end. The faster you learn to not let it get to you, the faster you will get rid of the unnecessary stress it causes. There is so much more you can gain from a single day if you cut out the negativity that comes with worrying about another person’s opinion. At the end of the day, if your choice makes you sleep better at night and puts an extra bit of bounce in your step, then that is all that matters really.

3) You will not resent others’
If you are not following a path that YOU have chosen for yourself, you will become resentful. This could make you really bitter because you will not be able to be happy for the next person who does their own thing as it reminds you of the possibilities you might have missed. And so the vicious cycle continues its rapid spin; creating another unhappy, cynical person in this world, who places the exact kind of stress on another person – the same kind of stress, mind you, that you were trying to avoid for yourself to start with.

4) You cannot make everyone happy
And quite frankly, you shouldn’t try! Those who matter will support you and encourage you to do what you want to do, simply because they want to see you happy. Anyone who has something negative to say based on choices you make (that you feel are the right ones for you) are people who are not brave enough to take the necessary steps required to change their own lives for the better.

It can be extremely difficult to ignore what people think. Sometimes we do it without meaning to and it causes more harm than good most of the time. But in order to find peace and happiness, in order to be satisfied with the choices you have made for yourself, you need to figure out how to stop caring too much about what others’ have to say. Live your life for yourself – you will thank yourself one day!

– Nihaad

Not things…

We all have turning points in our lives. Moments that define either where we are headed, or that completely change the direction in which we choose to move forward. I’m sure if you’re reading this, at least one event in your life briefly flashed in front of your eyes. I have so many defining moments that I can think of, none of which I am going to mention because I’m not here to air my dirty laundry. But I do however, want to share a conscious decision I made a long time ago based on one of these kinds of moments, which is: to not let anything material define me.

I’m somewhat of a “Plain Jane” – I see beauty in simplicity. And while I don’t find any fault with those who enjoy living lavishly; it’s just not something I aspire to. Not because I don’t like nice things; of course I do. I just look at people around me to know that I don’t want to cling to worldly possessions as if these objects can provide me with some sort of substance to my existence. I don’t want to measure my happiness and success by the material wealth I’ve accumulated. I don’t want to be fooled into thinking I have to have certain things to live up to the standards I’ve set for myself. I made a decision to not be materialistic; or for the very least, not to let it change me for the worse. I don’t want to be measured by the clothes I wear, the car I drive or the cell phone I have.

I want to collect knowledge and wisdom, experiences and character, happiness and excitement.

I want to collect memories, NOT things.

– Nihaad

Finding inspiration

It’s been about a week since I finally took the plunge and set up my about page. But after that, for some reason, I could not write my first official post; which was frustrating since the reason for me starting a blog was that I had so much I wanted to say. I spent so much time reading other blogs, scrolling through pictures and quotes in the hopes of finding something to ignite my imagination. Still I came up blank.

And then something wonderful happened.

I turned to myself, looking at my strengths, experiences and all that I hold dear to my heart. I sifted through old pictures I have taken and saw it in a new light. I indulged in the memories that shape who I am today and I kept reminding myself that I am unique. Nobody has ever read the same story I have read, and no one has ever lived the same life I have lived. THIS became my inspiration…

These days we all want to express our individuality, we want to be different from the next person we see. Yet when we seek inspiration, or try to do something out of our comfort zone we turn to others. This is exactly what I did. And while normally these methods work for me because of course people inspire me in different ways; it just wasn’t enough to bring me back from the slump I was in.

Because despite the way we see others, despite how we look up to people around us; we alone have the power to truly bring out our best selves.

– Nihaad